If You Return

If you return, I will restore you. . . . God

On August 3, 2011, I was listening to Revive our Hearts by Nancy Leigh DeMoss (now Wolgemuth) while on a run in the morning. I can even remember the street I was on when the Lord began to whisper to my heart. The program was a recounting of a conference message Nancy had given to Campus Crusade for Christ.


The message had sparked a revival in the ministry and the conference attendees were recounting what happened that day . I got chills as I listened.

Out of that message, Nancy wrote a series of books.

Ultimately, this series of books was turned into a Bible Study workbook called Seeking Him. And a passion for personal revival was born in me.

I have been through this workbook at least four times since that initial first study in 2011. i am currently going through it again. I have very distinct memories of my first time through though. One particular memory was being locked in my room, alone, so that I could deal with some sin before that Lord that I didn’t even realize was part of my history. That ultimately led me to contact several people whom the Lord brought to mind that I had once sinned against and never knew it. I hurt them. It killed me to know that. It needed to be confessed and repented of. One of those incidents went all the way back to my high school years in youth group. We are not just talking about sin that is current and blatant. We are talking about sin from years past; deeply rooted sin that I had been blinded to. I was finally seeing myself as Isaiah saw when he stood before the Lord in his vision.

And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”

Isaiah 6:5 ESV

I am forever changed because of this message and this study that followed. I am also very passionate about revival now. I believe the pride we all carry with us is one of the greatest issues we face in the church today. What I observe so much, especially in myself, is a willingnes to critique other’s tiny splitters without ever truly and deeply examining the depth of our own log. I just wonder if we don’t see revival in our land because the church itself is not broken nor is it in a place to be.

I have been trying to determine my niche for my blog. I thought it was going to be primarily a “homeschool mother of large family” blog. I will include flavors of that for the sake of living out my walk with the Lord in the area He’s placed me. But after a great deal of prayer and returning to the Lord, I reazlie that the last seven years of seeking to understanding personal revival for my own walk before God have brought me here. . . . .to be Beautifully Broken before the Lord. And I believe He wants me leading women. . . .all women to this place. Repentence is not just a message for the lost. It is a requirement of us as believers too. Continually. The call to repentance and be restore is God’s siren call to be loved by Him.

photo credit: unashamedofjesus.org

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